Head under water
Breath flowing into gaping holes
Head under water
I can think—
More—
I cannot, can not think
Only my breath, focused
Slow and measured
Don’t inhale
The waves of panic
Anxiety
Messages crashing over head
Vibrations
Pulling me back up
Tempting me
Calling out to bring me back
Leave me be
Don’t want to talk
Don’t want to think
Don’t even want to breathe
Because I’m trying
To be ok
Trying to calm my
Belly flopping, stinging, summersaulting
Exhail
The leaders with
No plan, No purpose
But fucking pain
Look in
Collapsing on myself
Still breathing
But with a wait weighting on my mind
My chest of worries
Come unlocked
And now now spilling up
Growing claws and crawling out
Sinking nails into skin
Pressure and
Crumbling peaces
Falling all around me
No strength to pull myself up
But I can hold on
Here
I can hold it in—my fate
Underwater
Everything is light
Heavy
feelings Muffled
Hold my breath
Where I can breathe
For now just want to stay
Head under water